In my opinion, though, there's only one thing wrong with the bottle: when you're drunk, you can't argue with lib'rals as efficiently. Other than that, alcohol is great. Every real Amerian should own a bottle of Jack Daniels, a copy of the Bible, a Smith & Wesson, and a meat grinder.
Hell, our own president, G-Dub, is an alcoholic. It's good for ya. It's those commies and the liberal media elites that'll tell you it's not. Every true American knows it is.